When I watch others on documentaries etc talking about DMT and their experiences using it, I long for that experience for myself so badly.
And I think I long for it because it is a longing for home. I miss that alternate reality which is our home, that can be accessed via doses of this strange, awe inspiring chemical extracted from these sacred plant teachers.

And when I watched examples of the visual effects that take place I was just filled with a sense of love and gratitude and bliss, as well as this longing. Just concise and clear love, adoration and yearning for that familiar place from which we all are born.


—And LOOK AT THIS SYNCHRONICITY FLOW! JUST LOOK AT IT!—

I have been reading about DMT for some time.
I have a whole book on it and have watched bits of the documentary, “The Spirit Molecule”.
I am very into Shamanism and know that Amazonian shamans ingest sacred plants that have the DMT chemical in them in order to go on Shamanic Journeys and Vision Quests and simply to gain knowledge from the ancestors/plant helpers.
Very recently, a wise Hindu girl whom I follow on YouTube put up a post about her experience with DMT.

THEN the opportunity to utilise DMT came into my life a short while ago.

Synchronicity? YES!

HOWEVER, when we used it we had no idea what we were doing and didn’t use enough at all. I just got the giggles.
I’m still quite upset about it, as after this experience, I realised just how intense it was supposed to be AND how damn difficult it is to find.
People say it ‘comes to you’, not the other way round.
Well, it came and it left, in a fairly pointless fashion…

But still, the synchronicity continues:
DMT topics have popped up all over my dashboard in recent days.
The words ‘San Pedro’ popped up yesterday whilst watching my boyfriend play a video game. This was significant because I had been researching sources of DMT all day and the most possible plant source (for me) that I found was that of the San Pedro Cactus.

During this research is where I came across the fact that a common nickname for DMT is “Dimitri”.
WHICH IS THE NAME OF MY MAIN SPIRIT GUIDE!

I was completely overwhelmed by this and am now more than ever yearning for another chance to find this beautiful chemical.
I am even more certain now that it is an experience, a gift, that I am MEANT TO receive.
And I wholeheartedly know that Dimitri has led me to this point in my life and that it will be for the highest good of my soul and thus, the collective soul.

I am trying to just set my intention to find it again and have a successful outcome again, and let it go, allowing and trusting the universe to bring it into my experience. I am envisioning myself taking this beautiful trip safely and with wise eyes.
But…I am impatient. Thus, I’m worried I’m counter-acting my set intention ^ by doing what you aren’t supposed to do - worrying about the lack of that which you desire.
And because I’m constantly thinking about it, because of the yearning, my energetic affect is obviously going to be very strong. So I neeeed to steer my thoughts into the positive realm and actually let it go.
But it is hard.
BUT I CAN!
I will.
I must.

The end. 

-

Edit: “Our Higher Self arranges time in such a way that we do not get what we want when we initially want it, only because it wants us to first accumulate certain experiences, certain skills, certain appreciations, connections with other people, certain awarenesses - FIRST! So that when we do get to experience this thing we want, we will then be appreciating it and enjoying it on a much deeper and more profound level.” - Bashar

^ This was just posted by someone on my dashboard; I think it a message for me, from my higher self/my guides. Hahaha. It is true - what Ram Dass says in his book, Be Love Now - “And every time you step back from your own melodrama, the cosmic humor gets higher and higher.”

I am happy that I am seemingly so in touch with my higher self and my guides right now. I like this feeling that I am not alone. I like this feeling where I know that all one has to do is ask, and it shall be. It is crazy. Crazy awesome.
And now I’m looking at my higher self and my guides like, “Oh, you guys!” and we are all having a big chuckle about my melodramatic ego chattering away about want and desire. Hahaha. Damn, those guys are coooool.